


Behind my Eyelids are Violent Islands

by kawaiidun



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Anxiety Disorder, Consensual Underage Sex, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Past Child Abuse, Sexual Content, Synesthesia, josh is really gay, tyler is a whiny virgin tbh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-17
Updated: 2015-06-17
Packaged: 2018-04-04 15:02:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4142190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kawaiidun/pseuds/kawaiidun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>High School AU in which Tyler has OCD, synthesia, and a big gay crush on Josh..</p>
            </blockquote>





	Behind my Eyelids are Violent Islands

**Author's Note:**

> Huuuuggge thanks to my good friend twenty_one_plants, for reading this before I posted it and for being so supportive of me while I write this. I have a lot of plans for this fic and I hope someone enjoys it. Thanks for reading!

For Tyler, mornings are grey and smell like metal-or rain, it really depends. They're sluggish and cold, no matter what the temperature is outside. Tyler has thought about these things a lot, he thinks about anything and everything all the time, really.  
He considers this as he carefully steps out of bed, _left foot touches the ground first, then the right._ He turns around and faces his bed, slowly making it so that all of the sheets and blankets are nice and smooth, he fluffs his two pillows three times before heading to the bathroom. He washes his hands, pees (careful not to miss the toilet- that'd mess everything up), then washes his hands. He brushes his teeth for exactly two minutes, then washes his hands once more, washes his face, and washes his hands one final time.  
Tyler hasn't ever thought much of his morning routine-he's done it this way since he was five..ever since the incident, so that would be since he was about five years old. Ever since then, Tyler has needed to control almost everything- he needed some sort of structure in his life in order to avoid the violent thoughts that crowded his mind...and the flashbacks. The flashbacks are the worst, there's so many of them, it lasted for three long years until someone finally fucking believed him, he's wondered many times why his family wouldn't believe him; how would a five year old come up with something like that?  
He gets dressed in whatever he can find on his bedroom floor. Today he picks up a black t-shirt and denim skinny jeans, nothing too fancy. He slowly puts on a pair of socks before he trots downstairs where he makes his usual breakfast; a slice of cinnamon toast with exactly half a cup of orange juice. Once he's gobbled down his food, he walks to the front door and slips on his shoes, grabbing his coat before walking outside and beginning his trek to school.  
\-----  
Tyler's sitting in biology class, shaking his leg in intervals of three.  
One.Two.Three.Stop.One.Two.Three  
He stares at the back of the pretty-boy-with-the-messy-blue-hair's head, he thinks his name is Josh..he's not too sure about that one. The boy's eyes are brown with a hint of fire in them, not a fire you'd find in forest, but a calm flame the kind you'd find in a candle. His smile is clean and has a hint of springtime in it.  
Josh must have sensed Tyler staring at him, because he turns his head and actually _smiles_ at Tyler This obviously makes Tyler's stomach do back-flips and his heart pounds. Tyler can feel his cheeks heat up as he smiles back at Josh, to which Josh simply chuckles at and turns back to his work.  
Tyler gulps hard, blinking a few times before he continues to scribble in his notebook, pretending like he's paying attention to whatever the teacher is saying- but truthfully he's jotting down different ways to spell the word "Elephant" until it doesn't sound like the actual word anymore. His therapist taught him this exercise, telling Tyler to practice it whenever he's feeling jittery, sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn't.  
Luckily for Tyler, it's working today..although, he wouldn't say he feels jittery or anxious..he feels pink, like there's thousands of white feathers in his stomach, it's somewhat pleasant with a hint of discomfort, for once in Tyler's life, the good outweighs the bad. 

Throughout the rest of the class period, Tyler switches between staring at the back of Josh's head and doodling in his notebook- his exercise rendered useless; nothing could get his mind off of the pink feeling. Is this happening because of _Josh?_ Tyler hopes not. Luckily for him, the class is over before he knows it. 

As Tyler is packing his stuff, he looks up and realizes that Josh is still in the class, haphazardly packing his bag; shoving papers into it where they’ll probably be long forgotten about by the next day, an unusual sight considering the fact that Tyler is usually the last person to leave. 

Josh turns around, smiling bright at Tyler, "Bye..uh..?"

Tyler gulps, "Uh..Tyler..." 

"Josh."

 _Fuck yeah_ ,"B-Bye Josh!" 

With that, Tyler runs out of the class- straight to his usual lunch spot, a large tree at the very edge of the quad. It's shady and the perfect mixture between loud and quiet- he can hear chatter but not fully understand it. This soothes him, he can take in bits from other people’s lives without being too invested in them- and that’s the way he likes it, the less people in his life, the less he’ll get hurt and the less bullshit he’ll have to deal with.  
Tyler settles himself under the tree and starts to get himself set up; pulling out his iPod, the book he’s being forced to read for English class, and a redbull. He puts his headphones in and puts his knees to his chest, humming softly as he sips on his redbull and watches a few people for a brief moment before he begins to read. 

Near the end of lunch, Tyler starts to think about his encounters with Josh in biology. Of all the days Josh could’ve recognized him staring, _why today?_ Why is Tyler just now really realizing how _beautiful_ Josh is? Josh’s beauty is truly undeniable; his biceps are nice and firm- but he’s not some weird meat-head or something, his smile is breathtaking; the way his entire face scrunches up because of it makes Tyler’s heart flutter with joy.

The loud bell snaps Tyler out of his thoughts, he jumps up and gathers his things, heading to his last class- Geometry. Fuck geometry

**Author's Note:**

> I know this chapter is reaaallly short. Promise there will be more Josh in the next chapter. <3


End file.
